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James has dedicated this book to her fans, who have asked her again and again to tell them more about Christian Grey. This is a man who thinks condoms are “wretched” and who, by the end of the book, has worked out that his lover reminds him of his dead mother – the “crack whore” as he repeatedly refers to her, in a charming reference to the fact she overdosed in front of him when he was a young boy.
Throughout, James seeks to enlighten us as to why Grey has turned out to have a room full of whips, chains and suspension units – before he was adopted, he was beaten by the crack whore’s boyfriend – and soon it becomes painfully obvious that the abused has turned in to an abuser.
In Fifty Shades – narrated by Anastasia Steele, the young virgin who finds herself entering Christian Grey’s Red Room of Pain – the billionaire businessman comes off as enigmatic and mysterious, with a hint of damage under his expensively pressed suits.
But here the look is that of a desperate sexual predator.
He was 22, and it seemed like the two might settle down together.
Then, he met Tippie Hedren’s 14-year-old daughter Melanie Griffith, and for some reason, people decided it was OK for them to move in together and start dating.
She starred in the second season of the television series Fargo in 2015, playing the role of Peggy Blumquist, a hairdresser who gets mixed up in a war between two crime families.
The marriage didn’t even last through the 1976 calendar, but by some miracle, the relationship was rekindled more than a decade later.
Grey, the fourth book from EL James, is about as sexy as a misery memoir and as arousing as the diary of a sex offender.
It is Fifty Shades from the point of view of its leading man, a sort of XXXXXXXXXXX-rated version of the book that has launched a thousand floggers and sold a trillion copies.
Within moments of meeting Miss Steele, Grey has decided he needs to “fetter, f--- and flog” her; he then imagines what it would be like to shove some peeled ginger root up her behind.
This, then, is the best the 21st century can come up with in terms of romantic literary heroes – a cut-price Mr Darcy in nipple clamps.